There are things that I love and things I hate about this.
I love it when she kicks and bounces, but am not so fond of getting fatter in every single part of my body (goodbye watch, wedding rings, most of my shoes, and the majority of my maternity clothes…) I’m discouraged with each new clothing item I find I’ve grown out of; and I am becoming increasing frustrated being asked when my twins are due or told that I’m carrying big. I KNOW!!! You think I didn’t notice??
But there have been some experiences that have been just plain weird – or strangely inexplicable:
– My newfound inability to eat or drink without spilling all over myself.
– Getting ready for work this morning and discovering that my face was sweating for no reason whatsoever.
– The guy who came up to me in the laundromat in DC, put one hand on my belly and the other in the air, and started praying. In tongues.
– The lady in the casino who ran up to me and started singing to the ‘balloon in my belly’.
– When did I get those wings on the undersides of my arms and that extra chin?
– Finding myself out of breath after rolling over in bed.
– Bizarre emotions that hit hard and make NO sense at all.
– Discovering that I have no hope of touching my left little toe with my right hand, no matter how I contort myself.
– Panicking a little when I didn’t feel her move for three hours… until I remembered that I’d had a glass of wine with dinner and realized that I’d knocked her out!!
– Getting weird pigment spots all over. You know about my wacky belly line, but chloasma that looks like a moustache and brown giraffe spots on my arms and legs? And why oh WHY would I get freckles on my nipples???
But, to offset all this frustration, I have finally discovered something about us gals that offsets our inability to write our name in the snow. When I get up in the dark for a midnight pee, I can leave the lights off, sit down, and make it back to bed without ever really waking up. Those guys of ours really wake up in the night, because they have to turn the light on to see where they’re aiming! Johnny said that he’d trade snow writing for peeing in the dark anyday.