“I Wish I Had Known:
1) Vomit will come out your nose.
2) Eating Mexican food and then “not feeling well” on the way home may result in said Mexican food being thrown up out the window all over the side of the car.
3) Vomit created from Mexican food can strip the gloss coat off of a 2003 Ford Expedition.
4) Sitting in the back of a 2003 Ford Expedition while on the way to Costco after drinking a large iced white chocolate mocha will make you sick.
5) Being in public in the Costco parking lot will not cause said throwing up to cease and desist.
6) Being at work will not stop morning sickness.
7) Nothing will stop morning sickness.
8) Being at work and throwing up in the paper bags that are used to hold sanitary napkins is not a good idea.
9) The bags that hold sanitary napkins in bathrooms will not hold very much vomit and said bag will burst all over your pants, underwear and the bathroom floor.
10) The industrial toilets in public or work restrooms will hold a LOT of vomit-y toilet paper.
11) Thankfully, Ryan does not get sick when thrown up on in the shower.
12) Ryan also (thankfully) does not get sick if throwing up in the same room as him.
13) Chunky vomit can be pushed down the shower grate with toes.
14) Having a nozzle attachment on the shower head does help hose down the shower after throw up session.
15) Most vomit also will go down most sinks – though sometimes it does require help.
16) There are certain things that taste as good the second time as the first. These include cantaloupe and Gatorade.
17) There are some things that do not taste good the second time around – these include everything but cantaloupe and Gatorade.
18) Milk products will curdle the stomach.
19) There are some general rules to follow when throwing up in a toilet, the primary and most important to remember is that you should not be standing when throwing up into a “bowl” of water – it will splash you with things you don’t want to be splashed with.
20) You can absolutely pee your pants when throwing up.
21) There may be a time that you have to choose whether to throw up on yourself or pee yourself.”