Round 1: Secret Weapon – – Fast Metabolism
Baby is put down in her crib at 1:15. Johnny makes dozens of trips to console her. We are convinced we will be victorious. After all, Johnny rode his mountain bike for 24 hours in a row, surely we can outlast a two-week old!
By 3:45, all the fast-digesting breast milk has gone through her system and she is starving. The crying is deafening.
Result: Baby, 1. Us, 0.
Round 2: Tricky Baby, Anxious First Time Parents
4:45. Baby is in her crib. She is an exceptionally good actor and convinces us she is starving to death. Painfully. Not only does she get out of the crib, she gets fed – – and falls asleep 4 minutes later.
Result: Baby, 2. Us, 0.
Round 3: We Won the Battle, Not the War
I am so hazy from all this that I can’t remember yesterday. Somehow, we triumphed over the baby, and there was a nap in the crib. I cannot remember for the life of me how it happened or what time it happened. Surely her own exhaustion sabotaged her, after being awake for 6 1/2 hours.
Result: Baby, 2. Us, 1. Naps, 1.
Round 4: She May Look Like Her Daddy, But She’s Stubborn Like Her Mommy
The first night round. Now fortified with 2 1/2 hours of sleep, Aili shows that she doesn’t go down easy. If she wasn’t so frustrating we’d be proud of her resolve to follow through on her commitments. Johnny actually became dizzy from walking circles in the baby room, consoling her. Ultimately, the metabolism thing got us again.
The baby books make it seem like such a breeze. HA!
Result: Baby, 3. Us, 1.
Round 5: Negotiation
The second night round. Johnny, Mr. 24 Hours of Adrenalin, is becoming frustrated and suggests we let her ‘cry it out’. I’m sure he was just kidding… mostly. After some baby book consultation and circular discussion (we both kept repeating ourselves because we were too tired to remember we’d already said that point), we decided to soften our stance: let’s put her down after she dozes off, when she’s too out of it to complain. (Note: this is NOT what the baby books recommend, but at this point we are skeptical of all their advice.)
Baby goes down without a whimper. For thirty minutes.
Result: Baby, 3. Us, 1. Draw, 1.
Round 6: A True Triumph
After a thirty minute power nap, Aili is ready to go again. The kid is a contender. Unfortunately, Johnny has passed out and I have no energy to go it alone. Baby feeds contentedly and goes down asleep.
Two hours of bliss. (Note: true bliss is being able to cuddle with your husband for the first time in MONTHS without either a baby or a giant belly between you. HEAVEN!)
Result: Baby, 3. Us, 2. Draw, 1.
Round 7: Not Even Worth Mentioning
Baby eats well and goes to sleep. For FIVE AND A HALF HOURS!
If I wasn’t so tired I’d throw a party.
Round 8: A New Day
Well, she’s down again as I type. We are *hoping* that once the crib isn’t a scary, cold, lonely place we can begin to show her that she can fall asleep in there comfortably on her own.
There will be more battles ahead, we’re pretty sure……